#iwishihadthis …. And now we do!
Embarking on the journey of parenthood is an exciting, challenging, and life-changing experience. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all.the.things! After chatting one day about the stuff we wish we’d had in those bleary newborn days and all the things we’ve learned since becoming moms, we realized HEY! We should share this list with others. And thus the #iwishihadthis database was born!
We put out some feelers to our community and the response was so incredible. So many friends and fellow parents in our orbit were elated to share the many things they wish they had had or known about as parents. And the coolest part is that so many of them realized that the things they needed didn’t exist so they went out and built them. Like just created new amazing things and put them out there in the world (cough cough Josie).
After noodling about the best way to share this trove of resources, we decided that we should keep crowdsourcing, keep growing, keep spreading this new parent goodness for everyone. And make it free! Our boss babe bud Brianne built that gorgeous spreadsheet and our wonder woman Celina made the videos and *bam*, we were off on our very first social media campaign.
Watching the support build online was humbling. People reached out that we haven’t spoken to in 10+ years to share their best parenting hacks and give their well wishes. Even Sara Haines, the co-host of ABC’s The View joined in! And after a few days, our database had over 100 resources… from books to podcasts, support groups to wellness resources, from advocacy to parenting- it was all there.
As we looked through this big beautiful database, a few notable themes stood out:
Community as a cornerstone
- Having a reliable support system is invaluable for new parents. This could include friends, family, neighbors, or even fellow parents you meet. Sharing experiences, exchanging advice, and simply knowing you’re not alone can make a huge difference in your parenting journey. The community resources span apps like Peanut to online forums like the Company of Dads. But finding your people is clutch to figuring out parenting – for ALL the parents.
Taking care of the baby starts with taking care of the parents
- Becoming a parent doesn’t come with a guidebook – it’s a fly by the seat of your pants 24/7 roller coaster. And it all starts with taking care of Y-O-U. For some parents, seeking counseling or joining a support group can help navigate the emotional ups and downs that often accompany this life transition: coaching, therapy, support hotlines – there are so many ways to care for yourself as a new parent. For others, it’s the Four Progress Anxiety Journal and pelvic floor workouts with Get Mom Strong. Maybe other parents turn to books, like Mom Brain or Real Self Care. Doing the inner work will pay dividends in setting you up to be the best parent you can be.
Services > products
- Move over traditional baby registry and say hello to prioritizing the services that will be more useful when navigating this new transitional period than a bunch of items that you’ll use one time before they collect dust in the corner of the nursery (or was that just us?). BeHerVillage offers the ability to register for services like doulas and lactation consultants that can be funded through a more modern registry. Postpartum meal delivery services like Chiyo can alleviate the anxiety of cooking in those early days while also focusing on the health and healing of the birthing person. Milkstork can help safety transport milk back home while traveling. So while a killer sound machine is actually underrated, it’s also really cool to recognize that the modern parent might be interested in something other than a wipes warmer.
Know your rights before you need to know your rights
- Wading through federal/local legislation on top of company benefits can be extremely overwhelming. Thankfully there are many resources aimed at shedding light on these complicated pieces of parenting, like Perky Leave and the Department of Labor’s guide to pumping rights at work. Not to mention the incredible advocacy work being done by organizations like Moms First, The Congressional Dads Caucus, and Chamber of Mothers. Cheers to knowing that future parents will be better off because of the unbelievable work they are all doing to move the needle.
Take a peak through this awesome, free database and add whatever else was missed. We hope that you find some gems in there that can be passed along to future parents – and we are truly grateful for everyone that added resources, shared with others, and showed love to this campaign.
xo Michelle & Allison
